musings



Thus Casablanca is not just one film. It is many films, an anthology. Made haphazardly, it probably made itself, if not actually against the will of its authors and actors, then at least beyond their control. And this is the reason it works, in spite of aesthetic theories and theories of film making. […] Two cliches make us laugh. A hundred cliches move us. For we sense dimly that the cliches are talking among themselves, and celebrating a reunion. Just as the height of pain may encounter sensual pleasure, and the height of perversion border on mystical energy, so too the height of banality allows us to catch a glimpse of the sublime. Something has spoken in place of the director. If nothing else, it is a phenomenon worthy of awe.
– “Casablanca, or The Cliches Are Having a Ball” by Umberto Eco
From Signs of Life in the USA: Readings on Popular Culture for Writers, Sonia Maasik and Jack Solomon, eds. (Boston: Bedford Books, 1994, pp. 260-264).
http://www.thinking-approach.org/download/eco_on_casablanca.pdf

Enlace permanente  Posted 6 months ago   Filed under musings, film,

Letter From Wasco

adamdeibert:

I found this letter crumpled up in a dirt parking lot outside Surfside Colony the day after Christmas.  I just got around to transcribing it.  This is exactly as it appeared:

Hi Kare                                                                                                           Dec 20

Well its Friday so I have all weekend to let you in on my world.  I’m listening to the raido and their playing bungel in the jungel and about 75 to 100 guys are singing along, yes kari I’m in a insane asilem gets kind of nutty here so one of my bigest fears is when I get out of here my bus gets hit by something and I die.  I have nightmares to “don’t get to wierd” but sometimes I talk to Heather alot she is doing alright asks Hannah and Jordan if you listen you can feel her words that’s about the best I can discribe it to you don’t want to scare you away that’s all for now hopfully I get mail today make time go by faster.  still no letter from my mom going nuts in here up then down so please hurry up and wright its saturday weekends go the slowest just thinking trying to read to keep out of the insanity how do my letters sound am I krazy sometime I wonder hopfully I have more to wright tommorrow, X-mas is close told my mom we have to have thanksgiving dinner when I get out I have to find out witch is easer to get home bus or train I’m in wasco so ask Jim or Delb to find out for me 37 days fuck yes love you so its Sunday now do you feel about this us thing let me know what you mean by knew year and knew start cause I’m threw with speed weather you are or not dose not matter I’ll still like you can’t wait to drive my El Camino you have my keys I left them in the truck talk more latter 35 days left so send me some lovings this weekend whent by pretty fast some photos would be nice ask my mom to get a card for my camera for me then take some photos then you can hand them to me by the time time

Enlace permanente  Posted 7 months ago   Filed under literature, musings,

a translation from ramon paz’ sonnet cycle, “pornosonetos”

At Rivadivia and Rojas, at quarter to one
Well-dressed at her place, she brings to the light,
that brassiery, knickery feast of the sight,
Says to me, harem-eyed, hot as a bun,
This here booty’s my pride and my strong brown lumps
Are the mounded frosting on this gourmet cake!
And true it was of her nursely rumpsteak:
They would be my death, those lively humps!
Doggystyle against the window, a pug turning soil,
Missionary for miles, like nuns at an orgy,
When a perfume unworldly did fall like a trunk,
Brought me back from God’s face to this mortal coil,
And up to my nose came a smell delivery,
A most excellent, shameless buttload of funk.

—-

En rivadavia y rojas a la una
Vestida y en su depto luminoso
Desatando el asunto corpiñoso
Bombáchica y caliente la moruna
Me dijo que su culo era su fuerte
Su orgullo y su destreza culinaria
Y es cierto que su grupa hospitalaria
Su doble poma viva fue mi muerte
En posición perrito en caballito*
Y en pose misionera y no en misiones
Su aroma a fin del mundo en ese bulo
Me hizo pasar de dios a lo finito
Subió hasta mis narices en enviones
Su franco y excelente olor a culo

* Caballito: a straight-laced neighborhood in Buenos Aires where Av Rivadavia and Calle Rojas intersect

Enlace permanente  Posted 7 months ago   Filed under musings, lit, translation,

surreal busride to my birthplace

first, the films. never back down back to back with the visitor. both films in which [in both cases particularly hot] men of color teach a [less-hot] white man how to control his emotions. two diametrically opposite representations of american culture— what wierd curatorial whim led someone to choose such a bizarre double-header??? as one can imagine, the latter film interested me more than the former, mostly for the odd scenes of richard jenkins (the dead dad from 6feet under) playing the djembe drum dressed as an ivy-league economist. lots of drummer cumface, not a lot of sexual payoff, despite Hiam Abbas being as hot as a middle-aged Syrian widow can possibly be. not a very cathartic film overall.

still ruminating this, the bus stops in Ayacucho, a small farming town, and a family unit of 3 gets on behind me. two grandparents, rural working-class, and a grandchild, around four. cardboard cigarbox, in which are two fledgling parrokeets! unbelievably cute, even when squacking and chirping, jiggling like parkinson´s at the smell of food, too young/retarded to use their half-formed beaks yet, cute overload. handing back the box, i notice that grandma is breastfeeding junior! Somewhere in all of this there is an ensayo nacional just screaming to be written.

Enlace permanente  Posted 9 months ago   Filed under argentina, musings,

translation: from j j saer’s el rio sin orillas

Es que la carne de vaca asada a las brasas, el asado, es no únicamente el alimento de base de los argentinos, sino el núcleo de su mitología, e incluso de su mística.  Un asado no es únicamente la carne que se come, sino también el lugar donde se la come, la ocasión, la ceremonia.  Además de ser un rito de evocación del pasado, es una promesa de reencuentro y de comunión.  Como reminiscencia del pasado patriarcal de la llanura, es un alimento cargado de connotaciones rurales y viriles, y en general son hombres los que lo preparan.  Además de ciertas partes carnosas de la vaca, prácticamente todas las vísceras son aptas para la parrilla: intestinos, riñones, mollejas, corazón, ubres de la vaca y testículos del toro.  El asado se cocina a fuego lento y puede llevar horas, pero esa cocción demorada es menos una regla de oro gastronómica que un pretexto para prolongar los preliminares, es decir la conversación fogosa, las llegadas graduales de los invitados que, trayendo alguna botella de vino para colaborar, van cayendo a medida que sus ocupaciones se lo permiten, incorporándose a la charla animada, no sin pasar un momento por la parrilla para inspeccionar el fuego o cruzar un par de frases con el asador.  Es falta de respeto dar consejos o mostrar aprensión sobre la autoridad del que está asando, aunque cada uno de los presentes tiene su propia teoría sobre cómo deben hacerse las cosas.  El asado reconcilia a los argentinos con sus orígenes y les da una ilusión de continuidad histórica y cultural.  Todas las comunidades extranjeras lo han adoptado, y todas las ocasiones son buenas para prepararlo.  Cuando vienen los amigos del extranjero, cuando alguien obtiene algún triunfo profesional, cuando hace buen tiempo.  Cuando los albañiles que están haciendo una casa ponen techo, atan una rama verde en el punto más alto de la construcción y hacen un asado.  A pesar de su carácter rudimentario, casi salvaje, el asado es rito y promesa, y su esencia mística se pone en evidencia porque le da a los hombres que se reúnen para prepararlo y comerlo en compañía, la ilusión de una coincidencia profunda con el lugar en el que viven.  La crepitación de la leña, el olor de la carne que se asa en la templanza benévola de los patios, del camp, de las terrazas, no desencadenan por cierto ningún efluvio metafísico predestinado a esa tierra, pero sí en cambio, repitiendo en un orden casi invariable una serie de sensaciones familiares, acuerdan esa impresión de permanencia y de continuidad sin la cual ninguna vida es posible.

Al anochecer, se encienden los primeros fuegos.  Un olor de leña, y después de carne asada es lo que sobresale cuando empieza a oscurecer en el campo, en las orillas del río, en los pueblos y en las ciudades.  Repartido en muchos hogares, no siempre equitativos, el fuego único de Heráclito arde plácido o turbulento, iluminando y entibiando ese lugar, que, ni más ni menos prestigioso que cualquier otro, es, sin embargo, único también, a causa de unos azares llamados historia, geografía, y civilizació; el fuego arcaico y sin fin acompañado de voces humanas que resuenan a su alrededor y que van transformándose poco a poco en susurros hasta que por último, ya bien entrada la noche, inaudibles, se desvanecen.

————-

It’s that beef grilled on coals, asado, isn’t just the staple of the diet of the Argentine people, but further the nucleus of its mythology, even of its mysticism.  An asado isn’t just the meat eaten, but also the place where it’s eaten, the occasion, the ceremony.  Aside from being a rite evoking the past, it is a promise of reunion and communion.  As a reminder of the ranching patriarchy of the plains, it is a cuisine overladen with rural and virile connotations, and its generally men that prepare it.  In addition to the meaty parts of the cow, practically all the innards are fair game for the grill: intestines, kidneys, sweetbreads, heart, udder and testicles.  The asado is cooked on a slow, hours-long burn, but that prolonged simmer is less a culinary commandment than an excuse to prolong the preliminaries, namely, the heated conversation, the gradual arrivals, staggered as their respective occupations permit, of the guests, bearing some bottle of vino as contribution, joining into the animated discussion, not without passing momentarily by the grill to inspect the fire or exchange a pair of words with the barbeque master.  It would be disrespectful to give advice or display apprehension as to the authority of the person barbecuing, even though everyone present has his or her own theories of how things are to be done.  The asado reconciles Argentinians to their origins and gives them the illusion of a historical and cultural continuity.  All the diasporic communities have adopted it, and all occasions are apt for preparing one.  When friends come to visit from other countries, when someone secures some professional triumph, when the weather is good.  When the masons working on a house put the roof on, they tie a green branch to the highest point in the structure and have an asado.  Despite its rudimentary, almost savage character, the barbecue is a rite and a promise, and its mystical essence is plain to see when it gives those reunited to prepare it and eat it together the illusion of a deep resonance with the place in which they live.  The crackling of the coals, the smell of meat being grilled in the benign mildness of the patios, of the campgrounds, of the terrace, certainly don’t unleash any metaphysical emanations predestined for these lands, although they do, repeating in an almost invariable order a series of familiar sensations, accord an impression of permanence and continuity without which no life is possible.

At dusk, the first fires are lit.  A coaly odor, followed by one of grilled meat is what jumps out as night begins to fall on the countryside, the banks of the river, the towns and the cities.  Divvied up between many homes, not always equitably, the unique fire of Heraclitus burns placidly or turbulently, illuminating and warming that place, no more or less prestigious than any other, that is, nonetheless, also unique, on account of a few vicissitudes called history, geography, and civilization; the archaic and unending fire, accompanied by human voices resounding all around it that are transformed, bit by bit, into murmurs until, finally, well into the night, inaudible, they evanesce.

Enlace permanente  Posted 1 year ago   Filed under lit, musings, literature, translation,

Tour begins (by my showing up with cash in hand and all my backpackly belongings, haggling on the spot, buddying up with total strangers) uncomfortably, as the day1 route and accomodations have to substituted because, as I find out later, town governments/councils/elders strong-arm tourgroups to extort road-repairs and other govt funds not trickling down.Maybe because my tour driver was born Aug 23, 1981, because he was a college-educated, overqualified, ironic, a frustrated Arltian big-dreamer, or maybe because I had buckets more in common with him than with the 4 30some middle class backpackers on my tour, I spent the whole time trying to get the “inside story” from him.  It was a somewhat harrowing story at times, but then, probably a lot less harrowing than those of the picturesque rural poor we encountered along the way, haggled with, rented “hostal” beds from, etc etc.

Tour begins (by my showing up with cash in hand and all my backpackly belongings, haggling on the spot, buddying up with total strangers) uncomfortably, as the day1 route and accomodations have to substituted because, as I find out later, town governments/councils/elders strong-arm tourgroups to extort road-repairs and other govt funds not trickling down.

Maybe because my tour driver was born Aug 23, 1981, because he was a college-educated, overqualified, ironic, a frustrated Arltian big-dreamer, or maybe because I had buckets more in common with him than with the 4 30some middle class backpackers on my tour, I spent the whole time trying to get the “inside story” from him.  It was a somewhat harrowing story at times, but then, probably a lot less harrowing than those of the picturesque rural poor we encountered along the way, haggled with, rented “hostal” beds from, etc etc.

Enlace permanente  Posted 2 years ago   Filed under bolivia, architecture, musings,

Fucking tax dispute

totally true, adds this correspondent- the roadclosing, priceraising dispute between cristy & agrobusiness has added insult to injury by smoking my favorite sweater! i might just have to go buy another one…

Enlace permanente  Posted 2 years ago   Filed under musings, argentina,

mexico traevlogue (july ‘07)

mexico city

redeyes suck, but only a moron would get off of one having slept one hour and proceed to buy a papaya smoothie from an elderly man using all 7 fingers to machete-seed and machete-chop his fruit.

tuesday: trying to nap at my towel-less, no-frills ghetto-hostel was about as productive as trying to shower there (unreliable on-demand heater? this place was subpar). bumbled around condesa ogling eccentric architecture, eating amazing street huaraches, noting good restaurants, until i found el mercado sobre ruedas, which was well-worth the exhausted haul. cooking at a no-frills hostel is a dumb idea. the only thing that hostel DID seem to have enough of was interesting people, but unfortunately it also had more than enough uninteresting people, so in other words, too many people overall— a microcosm, perhaps, of the expat northamerican/european expat scene in latin america. my fodor’s guide recommended (in addition to the “30s mexican cinema golden age” bar my failing health kept me from ever visiting) a bowtie oldman bar where half the people nibble spanish food and watch sports on TV while the other half play loud games of dominoes— pickup game with collegiate strangers, one of whom recommended to me a museum (which i also didn’t make it to :_( ). many beers later they were arguing heatedly over el laberinto de la soledad and the essence of mexican culture, which i suppose was my fault for bringing up chiapas and oaxaca. oops. p.s. best flan of my life, bordering on sour and a texture somewhere between bubbly pannacota and bulgarian feta! p.s.s. high elevation = cheap date.

wednesday: museum-crawl turned into a kiosk shopping spree— the entire historic downtown is one giant claustrophobic (even for a crowd-lover like myself) pedestrian mall from hell. in between the hours of inept haggling, i managed to see the cuevas museum (the TWO wings of his erotic works genuinely touched me— a kindred soul, perhaps) and the caricature museum (it’s just heartbreaking to see a bankrupt comics museum; it’s frustrating to see a comics museum that can’t recommend a good bookstore for buying old or collectable comics!). also touching was watching a dumpy working-class couple compare raunchy tranny porn dvdrs at a bootleg porn kiosk, clearly for shared viewings— reminded me of the couple in “battle of heaven” (reygadas, 2005), which i watched with S before leaving town.


thursday: checked into hotel, then went up to the basilica de la virgen de guadalupe with L, a friend from the hostel. was blown away by the cleanliness, disneyland-esque landscaping, and general feel of the [weekday] crowd— legions of happy [celebate???] young couples on some kind of date, cute family photo ops, celphone cameras left and right trained on the manifold expressions of mariologia. also, the museum at the villa was well worth the hour and a half it took torun through— some amazing vintage mariological work in many media, plenty of colonial baroque awesomeness, not to mention some interesting 20th century/popular tangents. subway to ciudad universitaria which is supposed to be lovely, only they’re on vacation and nothing to see. subway to coyoac’an, walking around the beautiful viveros (“nursery”-park, planted entirely with sapling-to-adolescent trees!), yuppie neighborhood (livingroom yoga studio). checking out a pricey boutiquey clothing store of overdesigned “countercultural” duds was informative and fascinating. in the plaza, after finding a pasteleria that hadn’t changed a whit since the 50s, L+I stumbled across a pre-columbian dance party against the side-door of a beautiful baroque church in the center of the ‘hood: first, we got ritually blessed with burning sage and a kiss from some vaguely shamanic woman, then we chickened out of dancing along with the clearly more educated blessed crowd, only to walk into the church, where we could hear the drummers competing in loudness with the amplified mass being conducted inside. the already blatant irony of the situation was taken to the brink of the baroque by our walking in at the exact moment of eucharist— two kinds of magic in the span of one minute, aggressively juxtaposed. after a run-in with thirdworld customer service at a local coffee institution (what do i care, the coffee was amazing!), L+I tried to see some edgy political cabaret based on galeano’s Los Nadie poem, but the writeup in the paper MISQUOTED WHAT NIGHT IT WAS PERFORMED, which the theater staff could hardly be troubled to consider might entitle us to, say, a perfunctory apology. it was shocking to L, who studies the theater, and after i’d thought about it a while, to me too, that i’d probably seen under 10 plays in my life not counting school. note to self: see plays.

friday: by this point my thunderous case of moctezuma’s revenge and my sore throat/swollen lymph node/nagging cough symptom-suite (which had followed me from oakland, escalated in new york, and at time of writing this in LA is still going strong) are competing for the title of “biggest drag in travel history”. morning began with L + mommy + I taking a tour of the casa-museo barrag’an, the house that mexico’s paranoid super-modernist made for himself to die alone in: i was blown away by it, but at the same time its blatant control-freak excesses so unsettled me that it not only counterweighed the utopian/geometric austerity of the house’s style, but made me wonder if there wasn’t a whole sinister end of the modernist spectrum, and while we’re at it, of my own psyche (so much of this trip’s soul-search boils down to whether, or better yet, in what ways, i am a “control-freak”). leave mom at the anthropology museum to go with L to the siqueiros museum for a jesse lerner-curated exhibit of DF crime scene photos from the archives. two surprises there: 1.) most of the photos turn out not to be crime scenes but enactments of investigative theories of crimes IN those scenes (without any explanation, one features tina modotti enacting a theory!)— creepy!!! 2.) the late siqueiros, like the late matta, was a whole different kind of style, taking on some crazy 60s/70s and psychodelic imagery into a mature style that, like barrag’an’s house, embraces its creepy streak. mommy + I do as much of the archaeology museum as we can take before our brains stop processing any more ruins, then walk grumpily around the bosque remarking that everything closes at 5 and that all these kiosks sell everything except what we need. early night.

sat morning: i let my mom sleep in and attend to her own touristic logistics so that i can subway off to THE HEAVY METAL FLEAMARKET (i.e., the tianguis del chopo), a huge 100-vendor market of youth culture, goth clothing, metal shirts, patches, and most importantly, infinite supplies of legal and illegal rock CDs, performance DVDs, and horror movies. EXCELLENT! some really good (and some really rare) movies were purchased, but little clothing. wandering around beforehand/en route, saw some amazing architecture thereabouts, like the kiosko morisco, the museo de la uni del chopo, etc. meeting up with mommy again, feeling shitty, went to the z’ocalo from a totally different angle: our taxi driver (the first of three that had a master’s in tourist studies, a real [indigenous] architecture/local history buff, and proponent of the cult of benito ju’arez) put us on a certain erudite trajectory. first, the national palace (secular/freemason heaven!) with its rivera supermurals, then the metropolitan cathedral and its seriously creepy baroque sacristy (sorrounded by an acre of canvas and god knows how many tons of gold, those 12 men must’ve felt themselves in the controlroom of the western hemisphere!!!). templo mayor (all those ruins just creep me out, as does knowing that the center of western hemisphere catholicism is, like the house in every horror movie, built on a precolumbian burial ground, namely a sun-temple), banamex museum (some surprises!), too too too many people, the underwhelming frida kahlo show at bellas artes (but some individual surprises there too!). the architecture of bellas artes is a whole headtrip unto itself…

sunday: felt like total shit, had to lay low for a while. xochimilko was an interesting halfday trip, but felt bad spending all that time and money dragging my mom to something that epitomizes why it was hard to get her to come to DF at all. xochimilko’s canals are nothing like anything a tourist would ever wanna see, and its trajineros are nothing like gondoleers (even in a thomas mann version of venice): each boat is basically a floating bench for 8 or for 12, and the canals are bumpercarring with too too many of them, creating an effect somewhere between biergarten and banquet hall, with smaller boats weaving between and latching on to sell beer, tacoes, water, photos, mariachi accompaniment, norte~nas, corridos, jewelry, or my favorite, xylophone-accompanied ballads/traditionals. the average tipsiness of the adults was about 3 beers, but the people bringing up the average make the people-watching amazing by falling off, teasing the trajineros for crashing, singing along with one or more bands, dancing furiously, wacking their kids, etc etc. not my mom’s scene, but under different circumstances (i.e. with a stomach that could process alcohol), most definitely mine— picturesque in a breughel kinda way.

monday: coughing my way up and down the freeway was almost more interesting to me than teotihuac’an itself, particularly given the cantankerous and pedantic character of our guide-driver and his endless interweaving lectures on the middle-ground between privatization and socialization, mexico’s postwar presidents, the changing nature of given neighborhoods, tequila manufacture, and the overrated frida kahlo (he must’ve taken lots of art history electives in his tourism program, ‘cuz his catty formalist/political take-down of the kahlo cult not only resonated with my own uneasiness with said, but held water as a critical position :D). villa redux on way back.

tuesday: casa azul before jumping train— like brecht’s house in berlin, seeing the mundanity of inscribed hardcovers and crockery collections deflates and deromanticizes as it contextualizes and personalizes. our third and last overeducated cabby was an architecture buff (shocked that we even knew who barragan was), high up in his union, a total flirt with the girl who called him for 10minutes of our ride, and most dubious of all, a “doctor” who taught all the other drivers in his union first aid “unpaid”… airport duty frees gave away free samples of tequila so i was ready for my flight, only to find the flight was oversold and to make room, the first few people to checkin (including us) got upgraded to first!!! awesome.

(photos from this trip are awol…)

Enlace permanente  Posted 3 years ago   Filed under mexico, musings,

"Thus Casablanca is not just one film. It is many films, an anthology. Made haphazardly, it probably made itself, if not actually against the will of its authors and actors, then at least beyond their control. And this is the reason it works, in spite of aesthetic theories and theories of film making. […] Two cliches make us laugh. A hundred cliches move us. For we sense dimly that the cliches are talking among themselves, and celebrating a reunion. Just as the height of pain may encounter sensual pleasure, and the height of perversion border on mystical energy, so too the height of banality allows us to catch a glimpse of the sublime. Something has spoken in place of the director. If nothing else, it is a phenomenon worthy of awe."
Letter From Wasco
a translation from ramon paz’ sonnet cycle, “pornosonetos”
surreal busride to my birthplace
translation: from j j saer’s el rio sin orillas
mexico traevlogue (july ‘07)

Throwaway's Blog:

I am a latino californian who will spend the first half of 2010 bouncing nomadically between northern california, southern california, new york, and france. Contact me via email if you really must.

Artist's Statement:

Si lo que vemos es todo lo que existe, entonces el cuerpo ,la flor y las aves tropicales, serían la coronación de la vida y no lo son . Son sólo vehículos de las fuerzas que subyacen detrás de las formas ,de la fuerza interior que se conecta con algo intangible , superior o a veces inferior, demoníaca.

Todo ser humano es divino, o tiene esa capacidad en potencia ; esas fuerzas que tallan las formas , que desnudan la esencia en pos de la personalidad o le confieren carácter a una naturaleza silenciosa , son las que intento atrapar con mi cámara.

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